Have you read the Quest’s report on “Alleged Irregular Payments from Transfer Dealings”? We have. Damn it’s boring. (Further proving that only the U.S. can issue truly compelling official findings.)

I’m not sure what we expected from this so called “bung report.” Maybe some sweet pictures or maybe some stained garments. I dunno. Something other than the Captain Obvious findings we already knew!

Two of our favorite favourite sections (emphasis ours):

1.3.2 One of the more surprising observations was that 3 clubs were not familiar with the applicable rules, and as a consequence, had not followed the rules relating to transfers. This was despite those rules having not changed for 6 years. Clearly, there is a need for the FA or FAPL to fully educate all relevant club officials about the applicable rules.

1.3.3 There is also a need to educate players and agents as to their duties and responsibilities under the rules. This particularly applies to players who must be encouraged, for their own benefit, to at least take a more active interest in, if not responsibility for, their own finances and the amounts paid in respect of their transfers. For example, in 15 transfers we found that the agent appointed in connection with a transfer was receiving a fee in excess of the player’s annual salary and the Inquiry Team has been informed that the player was not always aware of this.

Well, surprise, surprise, surprise! Players are dumb jocks that trust their agents to get a good deal, and clubs care more about winning than the rules. What next? They report that agents are greedy, slimy bastards willing to sell anything – including their client’s careers – for extra money? Oh wait. They did!

1.3.11 The evidence provided to the Inquiry shows that in respect of transfers within 13 Clubs agents were indirectly involved in or interested in transfers. The Inquiry Team was informed that this involvement was not always disclosed to the principal parties to the transfer (i.e. to clubs or to players).

1.3.12 We also found that 20 agents acted together or in loose informal partnerships in certain transfer deals, again without always disclosing this to the club or player. The above practices (agents passing on part of their payments to other undisclosed parties) serve to exacerbate the rumours that payments are being made “in the shadows” and make it more difficult to investigate payments to agents. This also undermines the transparency of payments in connection with the transfer.

So there you have it. The EPL needs TP for its bung holes. Clearly, Beavis should be elected the next Chairmen of the league and Gomer Pile can run the transfer oversight committee.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

More Headlines:

• Scrabblicious!
• Something doesn’t seem right
• Proof Sacha Kljestan attended the Marcelo Balboa Camp
• MLS Offers Additional Income Options for Players and Fans
• EXCLUSIVE: D.C. United Obtains Second Shirt Sponsor