Seeing Ivan Kaviedes’ post-goal tribute to fallen teammate Otilino “Spiderman” Tenorio capped a wonderful game of foot-ball and caused me to reminisce about my days as “Aye-Aye” the world famous luchador.

In 1936, Salvador Lutterroth, a local rapscallion and wrestling promoter asked me to join his wrestling association. I had not yet built my vast media empire, so I took his offer and joined the lucha libre. I became “Aye-Aye” because my fellow wrestlers felt I had the mammal’s good looks. My mask was yellow, not unlike, Kaviedes’, and I was a terror in the ring. My signature move, the Flapjack Death Powerbomb, was feared by all opponents. Ultimately, I was too popular a gringo for the league. I was unmasked in a fixed match against “The Latin Lover” in ’39.

Best Game: Ecuador v. Costa Rica. Three wonderful goals and one awesome mask! (Side note: I’ve upgraded Sweden’s boring attack from “Fjus” to “Billy”)

Best ESPN Factoid: Honestly, I’ve stopped listening.

Best face paint:
Smart choice. Vertical stripes have a slimming effect.

The Final Whistle: “Bongiovio, a Bon Jovi cover band, will perform Saturday in Kaiserslautern’s Stiftsplatz after the game, from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m.” from the June 16, 2006 report in Stars and Stripes. The Germans know how to party!

Overall Hasselhoff Rating for the Day: (out of 5)

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