Smell that? You smell that?

Fresh new season, Gertrude. Nothing in the world smells like that.

I love the smell of new season in the morning. You know, one time we drank in Lot 8 for 12 hours before the season opener. When it was all over, I staggered up to the stadium. We didn’t sit, not for one stinkin’ minute.

That smell, you know that stale beer and smoke-flare smell, the whole section. Smelled like … victory. Someday this season’s gonna end …

– – –

Hmm? What Gertrude? Oh. Shit. More flashbacks? Damn. I gotta stop freebasing the Metamucil.

Lefty, intrepid girl reporter, knows much about preseason soccer from her days as captain of the Just-up-the-Mountain University “FightingWampus Cats.” She reports that preseason is all about fitness tests, bad cafeteria food, 2-a-days, taking your picture for the website/media guide near the end of week when you look exhausted and, of course, Bobby Boz’s favorite, watching movies.

Oh. And you play some soccer during all that too.

More Headlines:

• All Star Game Pictures
• We’ve already paid for ourselves too!
• A Win, eh?
• Live Blogging the US Soccer Presser
• A Night in Columbus